Putin: 'Kiev is the mother of all Russian cities. We won't be able to live without each other. West has cheated Russia, crossed the line on Ukraine. We always respected territorial integrity of Ukraine, unlike others, who split Ukraine. They're to blame for divisions. Crimea referendum was in full accordance with international law. Crimea's move is similar to Ukraine's 1991 declaration of independence from Soviet Union. Crimea was stolen from Russia, remains an inseparable part of Russia. So-called authorities in Ukraine conducted a state coup and will do anything for power.

 
Oh that's right, darling... we believe you, Vladimir!

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P.S. According to legend, Master Kano was walking through the forest in winter and saw two tree branches covered in snow. One thick branch broke under the weight of the snow whilst another, a younger branch, bent under the weight, straightened back up throwing the snow. This is how judo came to be – a martial art whose basic principle is to feign submission in order to win. But only feign. Ukraine is that second, younger branch. I think there’s at least one well-known judoka in Russia that should know this parable.